I’m not the kind of guy who would wink at a firefly, though I once said hello to an ant. One thing is for sure; I don’t much like snails. I don’t know much about them, but have heard they are fond of beer. I also know they blow their noses on the little private escalator they use to move around on, and that they appear when it rains.
I like it when it rains. I like the way the air smells. I like seeing the drops of water on the rose like tiny tears of joy. I was out getting the newspaper a few days ago after a light rain, and noticed that someone had left the hose curled up on the front porch. We have a reel for the hose that has a handle on the side. I don’t use the handle anymore because on each turn of the crank a rose bush says a rude hello to the back of my hand. So I placed one hand on either side of the reel, and started turning it, pulling it down and then gripping higher up and pulling again. It was then I noticed a snail near where I was gripping the reel, yuk.
He looked as though he was ready to slime me. I was thinking I should call Snail Busters, but instead I placed my little finger against my thumb and attempted to flick him off the reel and onto the ground. I didn’t use enough force, and though I could see his grip loosen a bit it wasn’t enough to dislodge him. I tried again, and failed again. I didn’t have the heart to flip him really hard, and so I ended my quest to remove him and continued to reel in the hose.
It was only later that I learned that snails are pests, they eat plants, and can wreak havoc in a garden. My wife suggested beer-traps. I didn’t know it at the time. The idea was to kill them by drowning, and so putting mayonnaise jar lids filled with beer around the garden wouldn’t get it done.
I’m not sure what the solution is to our snail problem. I don’t like the crunching sound when I inadvertently step on one, and I don’t want them destroying our garden. Maybe we can negotiate, maybe there is some way to convince the snails not to eat our garden. I’m willing to give it a try. Maybe they could just call out for Chinese.