At the Happy Days Retirement Village someone dies every time the linens are changed or Bernice is seen leaving their room, or so it seems.
Bernice a spry 82 year old is always on the prowl for new male friends. You might think Bernice would give up on men after four divorces, but not Bernice, she gave up on marriage instead.
Recently, a housekeeper entered Ed’s room expecting to find linens to change and a bed to make. Instead, she found Bernice and Ed sitting on the bed; Bernice’s breasts exposed.
Utah is a pretty straight laced community, and hanky panky outside of marriage is frowned upon, but Bernice doesn’t care.
“Button up Bernice, that’s no way for a lady to act,” said the housekeeper.
“Mind your own business sweetie, he likes it and I like it too,” said Bernice.
A few days later Ed had a heart attack and died, too much excitement some said. Ed was gone, but Bernice, a member of the so-little-time-so-many-men club wasted no time hooking up with another horny old guy—he too was soon dead.
Now death is no stranger to the community, a congregation of old people is bound to have more than its share of the recently departed, but the talk at the dinner table was not about the number of deaths, but of Bernice’s role in them. And when a week later another of Bernice’s boys bit it, the talk of the community was all Bernice all the time.
“A Black Widow that women,” said Mable, but most of the residents had another name for Bernice, they called her the Terminator.
When Dave moved in everyone knew that Bernice would soon have him in her sights. Dave plays the piano and one night after the evening meal he was playing when Bernice approached. She sat down on the bench next to him, and with a tilt of her head, and flashing her large violet eyes said. “I really want you.”
Dave stopped playing, removed her hand from his leg and said, “but I don’t want you.”
Maybe the NO will slow Bernice down, maybe the community will go a couple of weeks, their numbers holding steady, maybe, but with a Black Widow named the Terminator probably not.