Archive for the ‘Children’ Category

What Were You Thinking?

Sunday, April 26th, 2009

It’s not Mr. Roger’s neighborhood. You’ll never find yourself on the corner of Grant and Royal.

The squares are each designated by a letter and a number, sixty-four squares. The rows are labeled “a” through “h” and the columns “one” through “eight.” The square in the lower left is a1 while the one at the top right is h8

They’re tough streets. Just last week a Bishop was slain at the intersection of Avenue C and 4th Street. And a few days ago, my son, Chris, was there. He got there through the Internet Chess Club portal. I was watching him play.

The Internet Chess Club attracts the best players in the world, and it attracts the rest of us too. Chris was playing a fifteen-minute game. His position was better than his opponent. His opponent had a light square weakness. Chris was exploiting it nicely.

I was watching, and commenting as the game proceeded (talking to myself). Chris couldn’t hear me, but the game would have turned out differently if he had.

The game reached a critical point. His opponent played his Knight to e4 blocking his Queen’s defense of critical light squares. Chris didn’t hesitate, he immediately played his Queen to f3 threatening mate on g2.

chessposition

His opponent moved his Knight to g5 attacking the Queen and the Bishop, and preventing the mate on g2.

The move Queen takes the pawn on f2 checking the White King followed.

The King forced to retreat moved to the only legal square, h1, allowing a forced mate.

I was talking out loud again.

“Queen f1 check,” I said. “Rook takes Queen. Rook takes Rook mate.”

He didn’t play it immediately. “Queen f1,” I said, a little louder. I was trying to stay calm—it wasn’t working. “Queen f1,” I shouted.

I kept thinking: He must see it. Why isn’t he moving? What’s he waiting for? He has 12 minutes on the clock, if he’ll just take a minute he’ll see it. It’s a simple calculation—it’s a Bobby Fischer Teaches Chess position.

Finally, he made his move.

“No! Damn I can’t believe you missed that,” I said, as I watched him retreat the Bishop. I couldn’t watch anymore. I disconnected from the chess server, but continued yelling at him. Asking him what the hell was wrong with him.

My wife, hearing the commotion, hurried into the room.

“What’s the matter,” she said, “are you okay?”

“It’s Chris,” I said.

“Is he hurt, what’s wrong,” she said.

I quickly assured her that he was okay.

“He had an easy mate and missed it. I can’t believe it. Two moves I couldn’t watch anymore,” I said.

“A chess game?” she said.

It took me a minute to calm down.

I said, “Chris is coming over later tonight for dinner and a movie. Why don’t you call him and see what he wants to eat. Oh, and while you’re at you could say this. . .”

I wrote down a list of the moves he missed along with my comments, on a slip of paper, and handed it to my wife.

“I have no idea what the moves mean, she said, “but I get the point, he screwed up.” She laughed, picked up the phone and dialed.

“It’s your mom.

“Hi, Mom. What’s up?”

“Jesus Christ Chris, Queen f1 check!” she said. “And Rook takes Queen, Rook takes Rook mate! What were you thinking?”

I had to laugh. What must my son be thinking, “What fucking game is she talking about? It has to be the one I played on the internet earlier. Dad must have told her what to say.”

“Funny, real funny, mom” he said to her. “Oh and tell dad two can play at this game.”

They Called Him Gimp

Monday, April 6th, 2009

“I told you not to go swimming,” she said.

She was angry, really angry. Mom never got angry, not like this, and she never cried, but she was crying.

“What’s wrong Mom,” I said, “you know I’m a good swimmer.”

“That’s not the point, I told you not to go swimming and I expect you to obey me,” she said.

Mom always had good reasons for her rules, she said it was dangerous but wouldn’t say why and being a boy, when my friends asked I went swimming anyway.

It was the year I learned what fear looks like in a mother’s eyes.

The day I went swimming was hot, 90 plus, the year was 1953, and I was eight years old. It was the year polio arrived like a freight train out of control, mowing down thousands of kids, kids my age with paralysis and worse. But, I didn’t know anyone who had the disease and it was hot.

A few years passed and so did my naïveté. Friends contracted the disease, I participated in a trial of a vaccine that would silence the nasty virus, though I had to get vaccinated twice, once in a trial and later when I found that I’d been given a placebo.

It wasn’t so bad, I didn’t get polio and Mom was not quite as worried as she might have been. She told herself that I had the real vaccine.

I called him Davey; the other boys called him gimp. His twisted limbs made walking difficult for him, and painful to watch. He had polio. The disease twisted his legs, and it took a steel brace to make it possible for him to walk.

Note to self, when Jimmy and Joey ask you why you are hanging out with the gimp, tell them he’s your friend, and that his name is Davey. They will laugh at you and tease you, but you don’t care. When Davey wants to join the pickup baseball game, choose him, there are more important things than winning.

The years passed, and I lost track of my friend, and forgot about the handicap he dealt with every day. A few years later I saw him again in high school. The memories flooded back when I saw him “walking” down the hall, the brace still in place. High School was different in some ways. The open taunts were gone, but were replaced by snickers from those who didn’t understand that it could have been them.

We went our separate ways after high school. I saw Davey a couple of times after that, but didn’t stop to talk. And now 40 plus years later I see his obituary in the local paper, his life over, undoubtedly shortened by the disease we all feared so much.

But we never learn, I see well meaning people blaming vaccinations for autism, and other ghastly things. They have no evidence, but it doesn’t seem to matter. They are taken in by the woo. They are taken in by the liars who make their livings catering to fear, not the fear we felt in the fifties before there was a vaccine, but the fear that paralyzes with inaction.

They are afraid, but have learned nothing from the past. They follow the woomeisters. The result is predictable. The childhood diseases are returning, and this time there is no reason for it.

Note to self, it was scientists not movie stars who found the answer to polio. It was scientists who did the hard work to develop the vaccines that time has demonstrated are effective and safe. They are the men and women who understand that correlation is not causation. And now they are being replaced by the woomeisters who haven’t learned the lessons of the past. They are the ones that make their appearances on the TV talk shows spouting bullshit. The celebrities who fancy themselves as experts in fields they know little about. They practice their make believe not just on the screen but where it can destroy lives. They are the ones we need to fear not the vaccines they rail against. If my friend Davey were still here, he would tell them.

No Laughing Matter

Thursday, March 26th, 2009

John is an independent consultant. He has been at Hamish Industries all week, doing a quick analysis. His report will tell them what they’re doing right and what changes they can make to streamline the operation. His position is a delicate one. He has to be careful not to offend any of the employees. He understands that they may not take kindly to an outsider with a free rein of their workplace commenting on their performance.

It is well known that John’s sympathies lie with the employees. John is a blunt man, and if you asked, he’d tell you that the corporate types that hire him are a bunch of dicks. They probably won’t pay any attention to his suggestions anyway. But, the job has its moments. Watching a bunch of cubies in the wild can be an adventure. Take the employee they call Alan.

John thinks he might be in trouble. Alan was walking past his bosses desk earlier today when he inadvertently knocked a picture of the big honcho’s adorable 18 month old grandchild on the floor. Alan picked it up quickly and put it back in its place, but his boss didn’t look happy.

I think he believed Alan did it on purpose. He didn’t, at least it didn’t look like it to John.

Alan tried to make a joke about it.

“No broken bones,” he said. “Kids are so resilient.”

His boss didn’t even smile.

“Hey look, the little tyke isn’t even crying,” he added.

Still nothing.

I think John’s right; this might cost Alan his job. You wouldn’t think something like this would be grounds for dismissal, but earlier in the week the boss was showing some new pictures of his precious to the staff. One picture had the little tyke with a couple of Clementines in his lap—you know those little mandarin oranges. Alan glanced over at the picture and apparently without the slightest thought said, “wow that kid has quite a pair.” It got a good laugh from the other employees, but not from his boss. Working at Hamish Industries is apparently no laughing matter.