I’m not the kind of guy who would wink at a firefly, though I once said hello to an ant. One thing is for sure; I don’t much like snails. I don’t know much about them, but have heard they are fond of beer. I also know they blow their noses on the little private escalator they use to move around on, and that they appear when it rains.
I like it when it rains. I like the way the air smells. I like seeing the drops of water on the rose like tiny tears of joy. I was out getting the newspaper a few days ago after a light rain, and noticed that someone had left the hose curled up on the front porch. We have a reel for the hose that has a handle on the side. I don’t use the handle anymore because on each turn of the crank a rose bush says a rude hello to the back of my hand. So I placed one hand on either side of the reel, and started turning it, pulling it down and then gripping higher up and pulling again. It was then I noticed a snail near where I was gripping the reel, yuk.
He looked as though he was ready to slime me. I was thinking I should call Snail Busters, but instead I placed my little finger against my thumb and attempted to flick him off the reel and onto the ground. I didn’t use enough force, and though I could see his grip loosen a bit it wasn’t enough to dislodge him. I tried again, and failed again. I didn’t have the heart to flip him really hard, and so I ended my quest to remove him and continued to reel in the hose.
It was only later that I learned that snails are pests, they eat plants, and can wreak havoc in a garden. My wife suggested beer-traps. I didn’t know it at the time. The idea was to kill them by drowning, and so putting mayonnaise jar lids filled with beer around the garden wouldn’t get it done.
I’m not sure what the solution is to our snail problem. I don’t like the crunching sound when I inadvertently step on one, and I don’t want them destroying our garden. Maybe we can negotiate, maybe there is some way to convince the snails not to eat our garden. I’m willing to give it a try. Maybe they could just call out for Chinese.
Good story, but yeeech.
I grew up in Portland, Oregon where it rains a lot and that brings out snails - well, we called them slugs. It was my job every morning to go out on the walk before everyone else and salt the little buggers. They shrivel right up into a pile of slime and the rain washes that away.
I didn’t have the heart to flip him really hard
Yes, you are indeed a sweet sensitive guy.
Drowning the poor guys in beer is more cruel than just stepping on them. You could always eat them, you know. Boil them, then add a little butter, garlic and seasoning, and voila!.. a tasty dish of escargot. It’s easiest to harvest them early in the morning.
Snails can’t hear, so forget reasoning with them.
And did you know that tomorrow, May 24th, is National Escargot Day. No really. I’m not kidding. Maybe if you get them a Happy Escargot Day card, that’ll convince them not to destroy your garden.
You can get an Escargot Day greeting card here:
http://tinyurl.com/2txzgy
Norm, I just had to share with you some responses that I received from some French friends to whom I wished “Happy Escargot Day” ..
Snail-day ?!! What is that all about ? What are you guys doing on Escargot day ? Go look for them and eat them with garlic butter ? Do some snails races/competitions ? A contest of the most beautiful snail ? Or you’re all walking slow and lazy all day long (like snails) ?
Maybe it’s ” a scar got day “, to celebrate Scarface and his alikes ? kind of a Mafia thing ? seems very mysterious, anyway !
Oh my, Ronni wants me to send them to the salt mines and Jo Ann wants them boiled alive. Happy Escargot Day everyone.
Y’all are funny!
I’ve done the salt thing too, as a kid. Seems kinda cruel now. Ortho and others make some stuff, granules as I recall, that you sprinkle about. If you don’t mind using chemical warfare, might check it out and your local lawn and garden store. Snails are pests, but I’ve also heard they have benefits. Like all creepy things — snakes, spiders, scorpions, even Republicans.
Normal snails aren’t a problem… normally
since 2002 Denmark has had a epidemic of “Arion lusitanicus” or Kill-snails as we call them
they were miggrated from spain, and now we can’t get them out of our gardens, they can easily destroy many gardens over a short period of time, they are kanibalistic and eat other kinds of snails aswell… They are large in numbers… they are indeed a plague in the wet periods
Normal snails are fine but these must die!