Missionary Position
It starts innocently enough, you like her and she likes you. A bit of boy meets a girl and sparks fly. She asks you to go to church with her on Sunday, and you say yes, for already you’ll follow her anywhere. The relationship deepens, you meet her parents and they like you, and you like them. They invite you for dinner after church.
You kiss her, and she kisses you. You’d like to get to second base, but you go to church instead. You embrace. You’d like to get to third base, but you go to church instead. You’re thinking below the waist and she above the clouds.
The relationship is good, but you believe it can be better. You join her church and the kissing seems deeper, more passionate. She tells you how much it would mean to her if you would go on a mission for your church. It was her church, but now it’s yours too. Everything seems possible, second base, third base—a mission?
She promises to wait for you while you serve the Lord. You suppress any doubts, but they are there, hidden behind the kisses and the hugs, hidden behind your desires. You are looking for a way out and just don’t know it yet. You say a mission sounds great, her touch makes it feel right. You spend your days wondering where you’ll serve your mission, and thinking about her.
You ask your Dad what he thinks, he once said religion, this religion was a mistake but he lets you make your own mistakes. You want to know more. You ask questions. The answers weaken your resolve, the doubts hidden behind your desires reappear; you question your belief. The answers lead you to the truth, but the kisses linger on your lips.
You tell the Church you have changed your mind. Your Mom asks why and you tell her—I’m not stupid. The Church asks you to pray about it. She asks you to pray about it. Her parents ask you to pray about it, but the prayers don’t provide any answers. They all think that when the mission call arrives, the spirit will tell you it’s true. You don’t think so.
The call arrives; they want you to serve in Florida. You kiss her, and she kisses you. She’s holding the letter, her God’s call for you to serve, she turns and gazes into your eyes. Do you feel the spirit she says, only when you touch it you respond. You see the hurt in her eyes, you reach out and take her hands; the letter falls to the floor.
I’m sorry you say, it’s you I love not your Church. You still care for her and she for you, but you’re not willing to trade reason for faith or even a trip around the bases. It may yet work out. You still kiss her and she you, but the relationship if it is to last will be built upon love and respect, not God.
May 8th, 2007 at 12:14 pm
Wow, very nicely written. Not an experience I’ve had…but my wife knows many who have gone through this struggle.
May 11th, 2007 at 5:08 am
It is shocking how many times and ways this plays out. The particular god involved is not always necessarily one you would recognize as being a god. But the sacrifice of ones self, ones goals, ones life, to achieve some mythical mystical objective is always the same, always wrong, always painful, and always ends in misery of one kind or another.
Not too often does this kind of situation end with with reason and rationality prevailing, as in your anecdote.
May 11th, 2007 at 12:41 pm
Seen it happen.
May 14th, 2007 at 5:20 am
Btw - the way you wrote this is awesome. I really enjoy your style.
May 15th, 2007 at 9:50 am
Thanks everyone for the nice comments. Ah, the things we do for ‘love’ in all its forms.
May 17th, 2007 at 2:45 pm
Haha.. I enjoyed every moment of this vignette. Yes, what we will do for love when we are young..
You love mountain climbing? Well, I do too!.. now
You find stamp collecting to be fulfilling? Me too!.. well, now I do anyway…
Oh my..
July 8th, 2007 at 4:52 am
Great stuff. We really do do silly things for the women we love.