If You Can Read

It began listening to NPR’s “Talk of the Nation”, the day’s guest was Francine Prose author of “Reading Like a Writer: A Guide for People Who Love Books and for Those Who Want to Write Them.” I headed for the bookstore but by the time I arrived I’d forgotten the title. The author’s name too, had slipped away.

“I don’t know the author’s name,” I said, “but the book is a new one on writing, something like if you can read you can write. I’ve already looked in the section on writing; I didn’t find it.”

“Right,” he said.

“I remember. I’m pretty sure the title is if ‘You Can Read You Can Write’, “I said.

He spoke the title as he typed it into his computer, nothing.

“Hmm, I’m certain that I typed it correctly,” he said.

I was leaning across the desk watching the screen as he typed. He spoke the words again, more slowly this time and typed, “If You Can Read You Can Write,” the same list of books appeared on his screen. He was disappointed. He tried a few other search terms with no luck.

“I heard about it on NPR,” I said.

He lighted up. He punched a few keys, and a list of NPR programs appeared.

“What program was it,” he said, foreseeing a quick resolution to my question.

“Talk of the Nation,” I said.

“All Things Considered,” “Diane Rehms,” he scanned the list; his smile vanished. “No ‘Talk of the Nation’,” he said.

I tried to help, “well maybe they discussed it on Diane Rehms,” I said. He checked, his smile did not return.

He sighed, his fingers still hovering over the keys. He wouldn’t would he? He typed, If you can read, but you could see his heart wasn’t in it.

“Just a guess,” I said, “but if you type that again you’ll get the same result,” undeterred, he finished and the computer dutifully spit out the same list as before. He started to type again. If you can write you can, but stopped and turned to me.

“Do you know the author?” he said.

“No,” I said.

“I suppose I’ll have to look it up on the Internet when I get home,” I said.

“Good idea,” he said, “then you can call me and I can order it for you. We can have it here in four days.”

“Right,” I said.

3 Responses to “If You Can Read”

  1. Winston Says:

    We don’t know what it is, but we can have it here in four days… OK… While he was in such a stupid state of mind you should have asked for the price on it…

    If you’ve got to look it up on the internet, chances are the link will take you to Amazon who can probably sell it to you cheaper and get it there in three days.

    I had a similar, but worse, customer “service” experience today with my cell phone “service” provider. I feel a blog coming on…

  2. Norm Says:

    I have Amazon Prime and so get the books I order there in two days, the shipping is free. Free as in $79.00 a year. It works for the whole family and so with four of us ordering books it’s a great deal. In fact we’ve already ordered enough books that for the rest of the year it will be free shipping, not to mention that it’s two-day shipping instead of the ususal four or five.

    I’m looking forward to reading about your customer service nightmare. Hey, get off your ass and write it.

  3. Janie Says:

    Makes you crazy, huh.

    Customer Service Desk…maybe the desk, itself, would be more inventive…

    (Sorry, went to see “Beauty and the Beast”…and, well - I do have a talking dog. And possibly, an overactive imagination.)

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