The Best Present
My father believes Rush Limbaugh is God, Sean Hannity is Christ and though he has never said so, I believe he thinks Ann Coulter channels promptings from the Holy Ghost. Christmas Eve is the time our family gets together to exchange gifts and catch up on the year’s events. We try to avoid any political discussions but seldom succeed. I’m the guilty party more often than not, as I was last night. I don’t recall what I said that got it started. I get the ball rolling and then retire planning on using the I wasn’t even in the room defense when my wife complains about another political slugfest and blames me. Last night never really got too far out of hand, but it wasn’t long before Lynn was lamenting the fact that all his children are flaming liberals. “I can’t believe I raised all my children to be liberals, he said. Eli responds, “Well at least you’ve got me Grandpa” Lynn is startled, but pleasantly so, he turns to Eli. ” You’re a conservative?”, he says.”Hell yes” says Eli. Unbelievable he’s buying Eli’s line. He’s smiling, this is the best present he’s received all night. He’s pleased that at least one of his grandchildren has seen the “light” Sonia tries to warn him. ” He’s lying” she says.” Wouldn’t that make me an even better conservative,” says Eli, delivering the coup de grace.